Life and pondering the merits of a NO REFUND CULTURE
Posts tagged DIY
Anti-Grumped: B&Q redemption…
May 25th
I posted recently about the B&Q glue disaster.
My follow-up on this is that the glue washed out of my clothes and my beloved Armani jacket came out of ‘Paradise’ with the glue removed. I took my dry cleaning bill back to B&Q. The nice duty manager from before was there. He looked relieved that he didn’t have to pay for a new jacket and gave me the dry cleaning money plus a card to get 10% my shopping.
So I stocked up on plants for the garden (all now planted).
So not a bad outcome from the Orange DIY establishment in the end then.
Crumptales: Tripping the light, not so, fantastic
Apr 18th
Last Easter weekend I reported the glue incident in relation to my DIYing. There was a further incident that weekend that involved me nearly electrocuting myself!
I have one of those handy gadgets to detect if there in any electrical wires behind a wall. I spent six hours last Saturday putting up this nifty metal sheeting on the kitchen wall. It was a real fiddle but I managed it (although during the last half an hour the fiddle factor went through the roof – as did my blood pressure). Before commencing this I ran this gadget (not sure what the proper name for it is) over the wall where I was working to check for metal and wires. There was a wire so I avoided drilling there. Simple hey!
Anyway I was packing up my tool boxes feeling very pleased with myself and then we decided to put up this magnetic knife strip on the wall. I totally forgot to do the gadget check. Chad was holding the hoover as I drilled through the tiles. Hole one no issue, hole two was a whole other story. As the drill went in there was a MASSIVE flash of light from the hole and all the lights at the back of the house went out. Chad and I just stared at each other for a few seconds in total shock. I had drilled straight through a wire. I was SO depressed for hours after this incident – I hate it when I am a muppet.
Anyway we spent most of this week walking around in the dark, but our electrician, Nico, came yesterday and fixed it all. He told us that the new consumer electrical unit that we had put in a month or so ago (as part of doing up the bathroom and kitchen) had saved my life!!! The old 1960’s one that we had in before wouldn’t have tripped so quickly and your truly might have been a gonna. How scary is that.
I live to tell the tale – result. Anyone need some DIY doing!!!
Grumped: You can glue it if you B&Q it
Apr 10th
Ok, ok, I know it is my own fault for not going to Homebase for my Easter weekend DIY needs…
Chad and I stupidly went to B&Q (groan) so it’s my own fault for getting myself covered head to toes in contact adhesive.
It is especially my own fault because it was B&Q branded adhesive (ok it was ‘IT’ branded which is their rubbish kitchen range but you have to give me some dramatic license here), I mean it actually had a B&Q logo on it – so I was simply asking for trouble…
I pick up a tube of glue today in the ‘Orange Hell’ and the tube (and it turns out every other tube of glue in that box) had a split in the top of them. I walked down the aisle and with the tube in my hand, hear a weird squirting sound, and next thing I know I look down and the tube has covered me (jacket, cardigan, jeans, shoes and bag) in fringin’ glue. I was so angry that I nearly took off through the leaking prefabricated roof. Poor Chad didn’t know what to do (other than look a bit scared and suggest that we get another tube!!!). Thankfully he didn’t laugh as I might have started crying as there was a major excess of adrenaline in my veins at that exact point.
Anyway I get dumped at the paint counter by an assistant with some wet wipes to try and get the glue off me – which I proceed to smear deep into the fibres of my clothes. After asking TWICE I was taken off to see the manager. He was actually very nice and wrote me a letter of apology on the spot (with instructions on the dry cleaning policy followed by the clothes replacement policy).
I am gutted that I have glue on my beloved and favourite Armani jacket. I hope that it can be saved in Paradise* or otherwise B&Q face a £600 replacement bill.
Anyway I HAVE to learn from this. Stop going to The Dump and go and see the lovely people at Homebase when I have DIY needs. They may be an extra five minutes drive away but I won’t end up wanting to tie bricks to my feet and jump in a reservoir after I leave.
* The lovely dry cleaners on Parkway in Camden.
Grumped: New toilet heaven, B&Q hell
Mar 7th
Pleased to report that Chad and I (plus Dave and Des the builders) managed to find a new loo that will fit – phew.
It did require us to go to B&Q as it opened at 8am, never a good place to be before you have had a cuppa. Team B&Q were their normal helpful selves! Classic this morning went like this…
Crump: ‘Good morning, I wonder if you can help me’
B&Q staff member: ‘Ugh’ – not sure how to write the sound that a cave woman makes in the movies as she gesticulates at the fire and the lump of diplodocus flesh sizzling on it.
Crump: ‘Is the white glaze on the ‘Madrid’ toilet which is displayed downstairs going to match the glaze on this sink (pointing to the ‘Valencia’) which we already have?’
B&Q staff member who turns out to be the bathroom ‘expert’: ‘They are both white, so yes’
Crump: ‘Yes I can see that, but whites can be different. So are they going to be the same, or might there be a chance that they are different?’
B&Q: ‘They are white so they are the same’
Crump: ‘ Sorry, I don’t think I am explaining this properly. I can see that they are white, but whites can be different, they could come from a different manufacturer for example. So is there a chance that they could be different and that you would recommend me not to mix and match?’
B&Q: ‘They are white, so they are the same’
Crump: ‘Thanks for your insights’
B&Q: ‘No problem, you can do it if you B&Q it!’
OK she didn’t say the B&Q doing it bit but she may as well have done. This is why Homebase exists – to fill the oh so important void that is customer service and product knowledge in the world of DIY. Homebase might not have as much stock and different options – but the stores are clean, the stock is tidy and when you ask them a question they don’t just shrug their shoulders or say ‘I don’t know’ and walk away from you unlike their orange uniformed counterparts.
What I think is funny is that the ‘You can do it of you B&Q it’ TV adverts feature staff who act like they work in Homebase. I suppose it is good for a company like B&Q to be aspirational though;+)
Anyway, because of the whole white issue we bought a new ‘Madrid’ loo AND sink and we have to take the now redundant ‘Valencia’ items (which are currently residing in the lounge) back – wish us luck…
PS. I wonder what other city or region of the world will have the honour of sharing its name with a toilet suite range? B&Q already have the Toronto and the Glouchester. Having been to Valencia, Madrid, Toronto and Glouchester I cannot see the link.
PPS. Any suggestions for city / WC twinning?
Crumptales: Oh crap
Mar 3rd
We are ‘doing’ the bathroom at the moment. We are a few days in and when I got home from work last night all the HORRIBLE old suite was all gone. ‘Hurrah’ I thought, no more shell scallop-edged sink and loo and we promptly went around to stay at Nadia and Gareth’s home to stay the night (as there was no loo etc. at Chateau Cricklewood).
Dave the builder (good chap and really pleased to recommend him if you need a builder) called this morning to say that the new throne that we have purchased and due for installation today won’t fit. Aaaagggghhh!!!
So I come home from work and there it is: the annoying ugly toilet is back in position – gutted. We are meeting up with Dave first thing tomorrow morning to work out a plan of action. I know that I have lived with the shell monstrosity for 18 months but it was gone yesterday and like a bad smell it has returned.
Don’t panic – I am sure this dire situation can be resolved.
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